Parent’s Guide to TikTok – ConnectSafely

tiktok is an entertainment platform that allows people to create and share short videos. People love using the platform’s tools, filters, and special effects to combine video, music, and graphics into fun sketches, informative videos, and creative shorts. app users often emphasize quirkiness and novelty, and in that sense, tiktok is helping to expand the creative frontier of the internet.

getting started

Although you can watch tiktok videos on tiktok.com, downloading the mobile app is the best way to get to know the service. new users create an account using their phone number or email, or their apple, facebook, google, instagram or twitter accounts.

new users enter their date of birth when they sign up. Children under the age of 13 are placed on TikTok for younger users, a limited viewing experience with strict privacy and security protections. users ages 13-15 get a private account by default, though they can change it to public at any time.

tiktok and other digital platforms provide special features and protections for younger users that are updated and improved all the time, so it’s important for young people to enter their correct birth year when signing up. tiktok, for example, restricts teens ages 13-15 from receiving push notifications after 9 p.m. to promote healthy sleep. Also, accounts ages 13-15 are set to private by default and cannot send or receive direct messages. features like suggesting your account to others or video downloads are disabled by default for 16 and 17 year olds. again, these protections only work if the account holder’s birth year is correct.

understanding tiktok feeds

after logging in, the first feed you’ll see is the “for you” feed, with videos recommended by tiktok. As you watch, stop, and like (similar to liking on other platforms) videos and follow accounts, TikTok’s algorithm recommends which videos and accounts may interest you. The search icon at the top right of the home tab allows you to search for videos, other creators, sounds, hashtags, and effects.

the other feed is “following”. the accounts you follow appear here. Follower relationships are not mutual in nature, which means that you can follow someone without them following you and vice versa. this is different from some other apps with a “friend” model where the two people agree to share content.

when you watch a tiktok video, a series of icons appear on the right section of the screen.

• the top circle icon takes you to the video creator’s profile.
• the heart icon allows you to like the video.
• a comments icon allows you to view and post comments on the video.
• The send/share icon (an arrow) allows you to share the video on other platforms, such as instagram, facebook, and snapchat, or share it via text or email. You can also report the video here or select “not interested” if you’d rather not see similar videos in your feed.

Some people use tiktok mainly to watch videos, while others watch and create. As you’ll see in the next section, creating and sharing videos is easier than you might think, and there are ways to limit who can see your videos.

creating a tiktok video

Tap the + button at the bottom of the screen, give the app access to your phone’s camera and microphone, and start recording. You can add music or other audio to your video (most users do) by tapping add sound. Choose from several other tools to make your video unique, including altering speed and adding augmented reality (AR) effects. tiktok videos can last anywhere from a few seconds to 10 minutes.

A popular feature for creating videos is “duos,” which allows you to shoot a video alongside an existing tiktok video. the result is a side-by-side video that plays at the same time. To create a duet, tap the share arrow button on the video you want to duet with, then click Duet. the duo is disabled for children from 13 to 15 years old. If you’re 16 or older, you can limit who can create duets with your videos (to everyone, friends, or just me). (if you are 16 or 17, the default setting is friends). go to settings and privacy > privacy > duet to access these settings.

parental monitoring tools

Parents have several options for monitoring their teens’ tiktok experiences.

tiktok digital wellbeing tools

tiktok has “digital wellbeing” tools for all accounts that set daily screen time and limit certain videos with restricted mode, which tiktok says “limits content that may not be appropriate for some viewers.” go to settings and privacy > digital wellbeing to access the tools.

Our tests show that using restricted mode removes videos that may contain some violent and sexual content, resulting in a more pg experience. however, as with restricted modes in all apps, there is always the chance that something will slip through the filters, and there may be content that may be inappropriate for some but might be appropriate for others, even on the same age range, which is why parents should think about settings based on what is best for their teen.

To set up restricted mode or set screen time limits, a parent needs access to their teen’s phone to log into the app and enter a code so only the parent can change it from restricted mode or allow usage beyond designated screen time.

tiktok family pairing

For a robust set of parental control tools, parents can enable family pairing, which links a parent’s tiktok account to their teen’s tiktok account. With family pairing enabled, parents can, for example, select how long their teen can use tiktok, what kind of content they can see, whether they have a private or public account, or who can send it. direct messages. turn on family pairing in settings & privacy > family pairing.

device-level tools

manage access to tiktok and other apps through settings on apple and android devices.

• on apple devices, go to settings > screen time. or view apple’s guide to setting restrictions on your child’s phone here.
• on android devices, parents can restrict content that can be downloaded or purchased on google play based on maturity level. go to google play on your child’s android device. tap your profile picture or icon and go to settings > family, where you can turn parental controls on or off, set a security pin, and adjust settings. activate parental controls and create a pin that a user must enter to change these controls. then select the highest content rating you’d like to allow for purchases or downloads. Parents can also use a Google feature called Family Link to block specific apps on their kids’ phones.

for general advice on parental controls, see connectsafely’s family guide to parental controls, and for device-specific information, see parental controls for devices and networks.

decide to use parental monitoring tools

whether or not you use parental monitoring tools from tiktok, the device manufacturer or a third-party company is personal to you. there is no “one size fits all” answer, and a lot depends on the child. both age and maturity matter. some questions to think about:

• do they usually follow family rules?
• how likely are they to take risks?
• how is your impulse control?
• Are they careful with their device, or a device they borrow, for example from a parent or older sibling, and with sensitive information, such as passwords?

Most teens just starting out on tiktok would benefit from a supervised experience and brief discussions about why you chose the settings you did, such as restricting direct messages. but the long-term goal should be to steer them away from monitoring tools. as the saying goes, “we’re raising adults, not kids,” and it’s important to teach critical thinking skills to help kids make good decisions online and offline now and as they mature.

Also, remember that you are your child’s most important role model. develop healthy habits around technology and social media that you model and discuss with your child, such as asking people (including your children) before posting their image online, managing their screen time, especially when you are around from other people, including family members, keeping civil and respectful comments online, screening news and information to avoid spreading false information, and any other tools or habits that keep your use of social media safe and positive.

for more information on parental control tools, visit connectsafely.org/controls.

device-level tools

manage access to tiktok and other apps through settings on apple and android devices.

• on apple devices, go to settings > screen time. or view apple’s guide to setting restrictions on your child’s phone here.
• on android devices, parents can restrict content that can be downloaded or purchased on google play based on maturity level. go to google play on your child’s android device. tap your profile picture or icon and go to settings > family, where you can turn parental controls on or off, set a security pin, and adjust settings. activate parental controls and create a pin that a user must enter to change these controls. then select the highest content rating you’d like to allow for purchases or downloads. Parents can also use a Google feature called Family Link to block specific apps on their kids’ phones.

for general advice on parental controls, see connectsafely’s family guide to parental controls, and for device-specific information, see parental controls for devices and networks – connectsafely.

talking to your teens about being online

We cannot overestimate the importance of having conversations with your teens about their use of online platforms, focusing on both benefits and risks. it should be a quiet conversation, never a sermon or an inquisition. just ask general questions like “what are your favorite apps and why?” and “what do you do to protect your privacy and security?” (TikTok’s family matching feature will also suggest questions for parents and guardians to encourage these conversations. Learn more here.) You can even ask their advice on how you can protect your own safety, privacy, and security. you may be surprised and impressed by how much they know. teens are often more aware of online risks and how to handle them than many adults.

of course, you should also talk about the risks associated with all interactive technology, such as damage to body image, dangerous behavior and harm associated with overuse, misinformation, and more.

yes, there are risks associated with being online, but that’s true of all technology and almost all activities, including cooking, driving, and playing sports. You can never avoid all risks, but you can manage them, minimize the chances of something going wrong, and learn to bounce back when bad things happen.

by talking to your teen, you’ll gain a much more accurate description of how your teen handles the risks associated with online platforms, and you’ll likely gain additional information about your teen’s attitudes toward risk in general, which becomes very important when your teen starts out. driving or riding in other teens’ cars, forming romantic relationships, and engaging in other activities that may involve risks.

Also, keep in mind that all risks are not created equal and do not affect everyone in the same way. For some teens, for example, a cyberbullying incident can be extremely important, but for others, perhaps a bit upsetting. The way your teen (and you) handle situations can have a big impact on how well they are resolved.

Parents are legitimately concerned about who their teens are interacting with online, but “stranger danger” is often exaggerated. That’s not to say that bad things don’t happen, but serious negative experiences are rare, and that’s partly because most teens are pretty familiar with who they’re interacting with. Still, it’s a good idea to go over some basic safety guidelines with your teen to make sure they know, for example, what types of conversations to avoid and how to report anyone who is abusive and block anyone who is rude, creepy or otherwise engages in inappropriate conduct or contact.

perhaps the most common risks of digital platforms are “fomo” angst (fear of missing out) and sadness when teens compare themselves to others who may seem more attractive, more popular, and generally seem live a better life. life. remind your teen that things aren’t always what they seem and that some of these beautiful people are using filters, makeup, lighting, and in some cases even plastic surgery to falsely look “perfect” and present a highlight reel of their lives . For more information, check out ConnectSafely’s resisting the “pressure to be perfect” and the Jed Foundation’s post on understanding body image and eating struggles.

online challenges aren’t necessarily bad

You may have heard of dangerous online challenges like “devious licks”, but most viral dares are not dangerous and studies show that most kids do not participate in dangerous online challenges on tiktok or other apps. In addition, TikTok’s community guidelines prohibit videos that promote or glorify dangerous behavior, and the company says it promptly removes infringing content when it finds out.

While there have been troublesome challenges on tiktok and other platforms, most challenges are fun and light-hearted activities that people film themselves to share and connect with the broader online community. A recent challenge that has gone viral is the 3-Minute Makeup Challenge, which involves people trying to do their entire makeup routine in less than 3 minutes with sometimes hilarious results. You may also remember the Ice Bucket Challenge, another well-known challenge where people recorded themselves pouring ice cubes on their heads, raising millions of dollars for als research.

still, it’s important to talk to your kids about dangerous internet dares and hoaxes, which are pranks or tricks created to make viewers believe something scary but isn’t true, and peer pressure to participate . some physical challenges are dangerous, especially if the person is not well trained, such as challenges that involve performing a backflip, for example, or any other activity that requires special skill. tiktok recently developed a guide to help parents and teens learn about online challenges and the steps they can take to assess the level of risk.

blocking and reporting

tiktok uses a combination of human and machine-based moderation practices and policies to block and remove content that violates the community guidelines. You can also report content or other users that you think may violate the guidelines.

• block a user: you can block another user for any reason. a blocked user will not be able to follow you. they will also not be able to view, like, or comment on your videos. To block another user, tap on the profile and the three dots in the top right corner. select block.
• report a profile: Touch the profile you want to report and the three dots. It’s time to report.
• report a video: Touch and hold the video and tap report.
• report a comment: Touch and hold the comment and tap report.
• report a message: Open the conversation and tap the icon in the top right. It’s time to report.

cyberbullying

Parents should remind their teens to talk to a trusted adult or peer if they ever experience bullying or unwanted content, and encourage young users to report negative or objectionable content. and of course always encourage your teens to be kind and considerate in their use of tiktok. One helpful tool is the Rethink app for Android and iOS that “looks over your shoulder” as you type and tells you to reconsider submitting anything the app deems problematic. For more tips on talking to your kids and teens about cyberbullying, check out connectsafely’s guide to cyberbullying for parents.

Another helpful resource is the tiktok bullying prevention guide, which is designed to help you identify bullying behavior and figure out what to do if you or someone you know is being bullied.

tiktok also offers various comment controls to help keep bullying off the platform, such as comment filters and a prompt for people to reconsider posting nasty comments. (learn more about the tools here).

privacy

You have the option to make your account private. this allows you to approve or reject followers. it also means that only your approved followers can see your videos. To minimize risk and maximize security, carefully consider each follower request before accepting it. To make an account private, go to settings & privacy > privacy.

there are several other useful ways that tiktok allows you to protect your privacy and personalize your experience:

• Prevent other users from receiving suggestions to follow you. go to settings and privacy > privacy > suggest your account to others.
• Prevent others from commenting on your videos or limit comments to only your friends. go to settings and privacy > privacy > comments.
• turn off or limit only friends who can send you direct messages. go to settings and privacy > privacy > direct messages.
• Turn off duets or limit the ability to duet your videos to friends only. go to settings and privacy > privacy > duo.

tiktok’s privacy policy describes the information that is collected, why it is collected, and the choices you have to limit the information you share. The policy states that TikTok provides “reports to advertisers about the types of people (not the names of people) who see their ads and how their ads perform.” Users can prevent their data from being shared by opting out of personalized ads. go to settings and privacy > privacy > ad personalization.

tiktok resources

tiktok has several educational resources for parents, including a guide for guardians in their safety center, a wellness guide, and an ongoing blog series with helpful tips for personalizing your tiktok experience. These tools are helpful resources for parents to start talking about the safety tools built into the tiktok app. connectsafely also has safety resources in addition to this guide, including a quick guide, video interviews with tiktok execs, and a short video highlighting key safety features at connectsafely.org/tiktok.

Final Thoughts for Parents

it’s easy for parents to feel intimidated or “out of the loop” when it comes to tiktok or any online platform, but relax, you don’t have to be a techie to know how to help your teen use tiktok or any other application. the “rules” for using any site or service are pretty similar. everyone should be respectful of themselves and others, be aware of what they post, and understand how to use any privacy settings, security tools, or block and report mechanisms.

and it’s not just about tiktok because there are other apps your teens are using or will be using, including new ones that can pop up at any time. While each app has its own unique security features and tools, the risks and approach to managing risk are generally similar across all apps that allow people to interact.

so regardless of the technology your kids use, it’s important to keep the lines of communication as open as possible and have ongoing conversations about what’s appropriate for them in terms of privacy settings, time spent online and types of activities. they are participating. It usually works best to talk to your teen about his favorite tools with genuine interest, not fear, because he’s more likely to come to you when he needs help, and you’re much more likely to. keep abreast of the technology they use. As always, everyone should be respectful of themselves and others, aware of the effects of what they post on other people, and understand that anything they post can affect their reputation and possibly their future.

Finally, while tiktok can bring joy and happiness to teens, it’s important for them to take off their headphones and put their phone down to interact with people in real life.

tiktok provides financial support to connect securely. connectsafely is solely responsible for the content of this guide.